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  • Naomi Chuah

Fall Revisited ~By Naomi Chuah, Biodynamic Caniosacral Therapist~

Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy is a way to engage not only our physical bodies, but our deeper emotions and feelings in the context of our body. Our emotional experience is happening in and shaping our bodies all the time in the way we move and in the way we hold ourselves.

BCST is a holistic approach that acknowledges all of this. As a therapist during cranio, I have felt physical restrictions release quicker when a person expresses what is really bothering them, deeply, in the moment. After cranio, people tend to feel not only less pain and more mobility, but at times more mental clarity, during or after sessions. BCST also works wonderfully in conjunction with counseling, I have heard feedback reporting quicker breakthroughs when the two are done in tandem. In this blog post I describe some clarity and shift that happened for me, gradually, after a cranio session I received.

As we travel deeper into fall, I’ve grown curious about this season where I live in the west coast rain forest. The streams have swelled their banks and are running fast, even as I notice the trees have done with their leaves, and moss and lichen and fungus are bursting forth, brilliant and full of life as ever.

This season I experienced some of the usual grief I often associate with fall, but something was different. I had just had a cranio session, and found myself curious about the grief that was coming up in my system. First off it felt deeper than usual, then I noticed resistance. As I let myself feel, I noticed the grief was shot through with a feeling of love, as grief cannot exist without love.

At the same time, information was coming to me from different places. A vivid dream, a teacher, a workshop, my reading. I was learning that life as we know it only moves forward in the presence of death. Early on, as a human embryo takes shape, whole sections of cells have to die, giving way for emerging shape. We’re all familiar with how vegetation composts, giving rise to nutrition and new life forms. What if loosening our hold on our old stories, no longer serving us, acts as a kind of death in our systems? A letting go, that makes space for renewed life and new ways of feeling and interacting with others.

I gradually started noticing myself reacting differently to things that would normally trigger me in the past. It was like my body was finally catching up with my brain. Instead of reacting to triggers with held body tension, I would recognize other people had different ways of doing things, and move on with my inner worth in tact and openness maintained in my body. As a disclaimer, this is not how I react to everything in life, nor should it be, but I experienced a fundamental shift. I never expected grief to be part of the process, but it seemed intrinsic. Feeling this particular grief became a conscious letting go.

We often unconsciously sacrifice parts of ourselves to culture, gender, family, expectations. I am learning other ways of consciously offering that are enriching to myself and hopefully to others as well. Letting go of old stories, offering vulnerability, loosening a tenacious hold on personal identity, opening to the rest of humanity and nature. This can come with resistance and pain, but can be highly rewarding. As I revisit, re-evaluate, and reshape my relationship with death and wounding in my own system, new space is opening. Less body tension, more energy, empowerment, connection.

So even as the leaves are gone and summer plants have wilted, I see renewed lichen, teaming streams, brilliance of water all around me and wonderful happenings in my life.

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