From Stephen r. Covey's book the 7 habits if a highly effective person chapter 'principles of personal vision', I learned and adapted the importance of the space that happens between the stimuli and the response. We discover how/why someone may be habitually responding due to genetic determinism, psychic determinism and environmental determinism.
Acknowledging previous conditions/conditioning and the personal reflections we view the world through
In the proactive model of stimuli and response there is a space displayed in between the two, that holds the freedom to choose. Before the response, there is a realization of our responsibility (response-ability) to choose: equipped with independent will, conscience, imagination and self awareness. I have been learning that within the space and freedom to choose, lies stillness; breath that has the opportunity to arise and bring clarity. Our nervous system needs this space even for a brief moment to prevent being overwhelmed or having irrational behavior. Not many stimulus can be predicted for the exact situations, but we can preemptively create a state of balanced awareness, that when the time comes we are aware of the spaciousness occurring. We can strengthen being in a state of balanced awareness (SOBA, Body Intelligence) by practicing: embodiment, suspended attention, listening to the world around us, balancing internal awareness and externals senses. It is not about perfect or the exact outcome we get to, so always be thankful of yourself for showing up because that takes courage. A recent example of SOBA I experienced was out in the forest near my house. This made me laugh and realize the simplicity of the effect of my directed attention. I was sitting outside REALLY wanting to watch some forest animals play, with intense, narrowed in, beady eyes I was so focused, desperate to see just ONE furry friend, but saw nothing. I came back about an hour later with a book and gave up the need to see these animals, but rather relaxed into a ceder and started reading. After a moment I looked up and noticed birds flying around and a squirrel a few feet away from me. This made it so obvious to me the power of stillness and allowing.